Aidan’s finally here!!!

Thank goodness. It seemed to take forever for June 8 to get here! Even he said, when he got off the plane “I can finally see you!” I really hate living so far away from him. I know it’s not even that far, but that doesn’t make it suck any less.

I am trying to figure out how to readjust my schedule to keep fitting yoga and writing in, plus taking care of him, and getting enough rest. Not to mention staying on top of eating reasonably well. It’s been a challenge this week because Adam’s brother and sister-in-law are visiting, and we’ve been spending time with them. I kinda put all that life stuff on hold because how often do I get to see Eli & Melissa, you know? So I’ve been eating not as well as normal, and I haven’t been to yoga since last Thursday. Let’s not even talk about writing, shall we?

I need to just QUIT those games on Facebook. Or at least limit myself to a few. It’s out of hand again, how much time I spend playing. I know it’s an avoidance technique. If I’m playing, I don’t have to think about the “sagging middle” in my WIP. And maybe, just maybe a breakthrough will happen while I am virtually farming!

Right, even I don’t believe that anymore.

Anyway, even though I haven’t been doing yoga and writing, I have been doing other cool things. Tuesday, I got Aidan from the airport, and I learned that if someone is mean to a member of my family, the claws come out! No one was mean to Aidan, but someone was to Adam and I reacted in a way that I never expected. It was weird and a little bit unsettling. But nice to know that I won’t take any crap from people when it comes to members of my family.

Wednesday, Eli & Melissa arrived and we had dinner with them. Thursday, we went to the Art Institute of Chicago. I’d never been to an art museum ever. Well, the National Vietnam Vets Museum may count, but that’s such a specialized part of art that I can only think of it as the NVVM. AIC was completely different and amazing and overwhelming. You know how you see prints of paintings? Most of them never did much for me. We have a bunch of them in the apartment and to me, they’re just pretty or neat pictures hanging around. But seeing a painting in real life is so much better! There was some Van Gogh and a lot of Monet, but the one that blew me away was Saint Francis by Peter Paul Rubens. The way he painted it… the flesh tones looked so real and lifelike and vibrant, like Saint Francis was going to just walk off the panel and come stand next to me. In addition to that, the Thorne Miniature Rooms were incredible, as was all the South Asian art, which I didn’t feel I got to spend nearly enough time looking at. We even checked out the Matisse exhibit, and got to see some pretty famous paintings, like American Gothic. I can’t wait to go back to the Art Institute of Chicago. There is so much I am eager to explore there. The cool thing is that we can take out museum passes from the library (that are good for a week!), and the museum is open free Thursday nights. I get the feeling I’ll be there a lot.

Aidan LOVED the museum. As he’s very artistic, Adam and I thought he’d get a lot out of it–well, as much as a seven-year-old can get, I suppose. He loved seeing the Van Gogh, and he was totally fascinated by the Picture of Dorian Gray, but he really enjoyed giggling at all the naked baby Jesus paintings and sculptures. He did love the Thorne Miniature Rooms, though.

After that fun, we ate some lunch and then headed over to Millennium Park. Aidan enjoyed playing at Cloud Gate, as usual:

On Monday, before Aidan got here, I hung out with Shannon, a former co-worker, and her family. They took me to the top of Sears Willis Tower, and I went out on the glass ledge. Oh yes. Check me out:

In between all this, I am reading a book called THE BLUE GIRL by Charles de Lint, and I adore the main character. She’s just such a cool girl. This is the first Charles de Lint book I’ve ever read, but apparently, he’s written a lot set in the particular world of this book. I love when authors do that. When they have a world they work in for all of their books. Cause when you read the new ones, you see old characters and friends. Sarah Dessen does it, and so does Deb Caletti, and even Adam does. I tend to write in the same worlds too, or I try to, anyway.

Anyway, it’s already almost 2am. I don’t have to be up very early tomorrow (but someone little with curly hair might wake me up early. If not him, then the neighbor’s hot water heater [which bangs every time he takes a shower and happens to be located right above our bed--another thing the landlord won't fix] will). We’re hitting Navy Pier, which should be fun on a Saturday in June. :O All I know is this: I AM GETTING A CHURRO. Oh yes.

So, with that, I am off. ‘Til next time!

I love summer!

(Originally posted at Anywhere Is...)

This will be my first full weekend in over a month. I’m so glad I like the work and the people I work with, because otherwise, working six days a week would be awful. As it is, I feel weird not going in tomorrow. If I hadn’t already turned in my time sheet for the week, I probably would reconsider and pop in for a few hours! I care that much about the work and I like the job that much. But I am tired and was encouraged by team members to take a break because I really shouldn’t work six days a week for ten weeks in a row. Plus, I got sick twice the past couple of weeks, and even though the colds were fairly minor, last Saturday, I was miserable! I came home, took medicine, fell into bed and stayed there until Sunday evening! Still, I remember last year this time, I was starting that horrific three-month sore throat. I am SO GLAD I’m not dealing with that this year!

I started to get melancholy this week, because my assignment is slated to end on November 26th. I’ve never been SAD about leaving a job before, but with this one, I really will grieve! I love the work, the culture, the commute, everything, even the six day weeks and sometimes ten hour work days. Today, some people dressed up for the holiday, and people were passing out candy, and the company bought pizza and salad and beverages for all of us to enjoy for lunch.

I leave work at the end of the day with a spring in my step, because I just spent all day working my butt off and loving every minute of it. And the thought of going back to combing the job boards, sending out a billion resumes to get maybe one or two bites, then going on interviews and doing hours of interview homework frankly depresses me. It seriously makes me want to cry.

I believe that if you put the energy out there, then something can happen with it. So this is what I’m going to put out there. I want to work full time at Schawk. I want to be a permanent employee. Everyday I go in and hope that they see something in me that makes them say “You know, this girl is good. Her attitude is awesome, and we can really tell that she cares about and likes the work. We’re going to offer her a position here because we know she’ll bring value to our team and our company.”

We’ll see what happens. I know the economy, and the reality though, and I’m going to try not to cry too much that day. In the meantime, I’m trying to enjoy the time I do have there for sure. It’s the best job I’ve ever had in my life. And I mean that 100%.

Today is Halloween, and I didn’t dress up. I did wear a tee-shirt to commemorate the occasion, though.

I got a lot of compliments on my headband.

Adam did dress up, though. Here he is with Hector before their crazy night of Weird Chicago tours.

Helena has been a very good girl and hasn’t peed on the bed in a long time. I’m proud of her. She’s gotten used to me being gone, and I give her a little extra attention in the mornings before I leave for work which she seems to like. Some of my best evenings are when she and Crookshanks curl up beside me while I play on Flickr or something.

Honestly, though, I’m only missing one thing from my life and that’s Aidan’s hugs and kisses. It’s so hard not hearing his little voice every day and having him clinging to me and touching my cheek. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about him and wonder how he’s doing. The other day I was talking to him, and he said “Mommy, I was looking at the picture of you and me and Daddy and I started cwying.” I asked him why, and he said because he missed me. That’s a big void, and even though I don’t regret moving to Chicago and being with Adam, I miss my son terribly and I want need to see him soon.

Other than that, I’m really happy. And I’ve been happy for a long time now. I like working. I like coming home to Adam at the end of the day. Some nights he makes the most delicious dinners. Wednesday night, I told him I wanted something light, and he made tomato basil soup with chicken. It was perfect and amazing. Tonight, he made beef and noodles. The beef had been simmering all day in the Crock-Pot. And one day last week, he made the most delicious homemade beef stew. I have to watch so I won’t gain a ton of weight–my pants are all fitting snugly! It’s time for me to really put the Wii Fit to use.

Yes, that was a major splurge I made a couple of weeks ago! I went to Best Buy in search of a new external hard drive because my original one is almost full. Well, I found a 1T hard drive for a good price, and ventured over to the video game section. I was shaking me head at the Wii Fit towel. I mean, really? $8 for a towel because it says Wii Fit on it? And I was thinking “well, that’s probably the closest I’ll ever get to a Wii Fit….” then I walked out of that aisle and over to a center pallet that was stacked with Wiis and Wii Fits! I debated for about 30 seconds on getting it, then decided to go for it, and I am so glad. Working out with that thing is SO fun. I love the step aerobics and the yoga. Before I know it, I’ve clocked 35 minutes of exercise and for something like me who does NOT care for exercise, that is a big deal. Wii Fit = PURE WIN.

I’m trying to think of what else I’ve been up to besides working, resting, reading, and playing Wii Fit, and I can’t come up with a whole lot. I did finally get to read the latest Leven Thumps novel. I devoured the thing in a day and a half and was very sad when it was over. I have to wait probably at least a year for the next one!

Another writer friend of mine finally got a book contract, and I’m very happy for her. Out of that little group, I’m the only one who still hasn’t been published, and right now, I’m OK with that. I’m not even sure I want to pursue a writing career so much anymore. I’m getting so much joy out of the agency proofreading work, I wonder if I shouldn’t focus on that career path? We’ll see where my heart takes me. I still have the soul of a writer, and I’m always thinking of characters and making up people and scenarios in my head, so maybe it’ll come back one day. At this point, I’m at peace with where I am now, career-wise. Who knows what will happen?

A few days ago. Rosa asked me to post 7 things about myself that most people don’t know. This is going to be a challenge, as I am pretty open on my blog. But let’s see.

1. I have a terrible singing voice. I mean, it’s awful. But that doesn’t stop me from singing along with the stereo when I am home alone.

2. About twelve years ago, the house I lived in for most of my growing years was foreclosed on. I didn’t get a lot of stuff out of it, and some of that stuff includes rare 12-in. album singles with remixes of songs like Killing Me Softly by Al B. Sure and Lucky Charm by The Boys. I really, really wish I had a way to get digital copies of those songs–but the 12-in. singles were rare enough when I bought them. I’m sure it’s impossible to get them now.

3. Even though I do not like winter or the cold, I love cold-weather accessories. I have tons of scarves and hats and gloves and mittens. I like to change them up depending on my mood, and I just love the new cute ones that come out every year. Monday, when I was at Aeropostale to get a few sweaters for the upcoming winter, I started considering a new winter coat. Adam, with an exasperated look, told me that I have QUITE enough coats, thank you very much. OK, he didn’t say all that, but he did point out that I have four winter coats and I probably really don’t need a new one. But we’ll see how my coats hold up against Chicago winters. I might need to take a trip to Eddie Bauer soon. Macy’s has beautiful wool pea coats, but I really don’t want to spend $500 on a coat that may or may not keep me warm when the single digit temperatures hit.

4. I wish I had a best girlfriend. But then I wonder if I really want the time and commitment that comes with having a best girlfriend. Jen and I are pretty close–we’ve known each other since the early 1990s–but I don’t have that *best friend* who is local and who I see all the time, who I can yap on the phone with for hours and then turn around and email/IM her as soon as I hang up. It’s been so long that I’m not even sure I KNOW how to have a best friend anymore, not like I did when I was in grade school. I remember Charla and I used to get on the phone and yak yak yak for hours (13 of them once). Now, it just seems strange to call someone other than my mommy just to talk, even though when someone does catch me at a good time, it’s always great to hear from that person, and I enjoy catching up and chatting. I think every girl needs a best friend, but I guess I’m scared and not so sure how to go about it.

5. I’m generally not a phone person. I will email you long, long letters, I’ll write you letters, I’ll text you, but I’m not huge on the phone. Again, I like when people call me, but it’s hard for me to take the initiative to make the call to anyone unless I really feel driven to action. I even had a hard time calling Adam, the man I was dating, then engaged to, because I always worried about bugging him. But if someone calls me, I’m terrible about letting him or her off the phone, and we can talk for hours and hours easily. Ask anyone about my marathon phone calls with my mom. Last time it was five hours.

6. I enjoy good, long, late night conversations. I love talking to friends about anything and everything in the middle of the night, when the inhibitions are down just a bit, and we’re comfortable sharing everything.

7. I really really want to take Aidan to Disney World within the next year. Just a mommy-son trip. I know it’s probably crazy and ambitious to do a single-parent trip of that magnitude, but we both LOVE Disney World and I think the time together would be amazing. I just wish something would happen to make that a possibility very soon, before he outgrows Disney World… and hanging out with his parents. For the record, I also want to take a huge trip to Disney World with Adam, Aidan, Chris, Matt, my mom, and Adam’s mom.

Because traveling for Thanksgiving will be a logistical nightmare for me this year, Adam and I are staying in town and having Thanksgiving here. We’re going to make a turkey and stuffing, and I’ll make a bit of dressing (hopefully not as dry as I made it for Christmas–eep). I’m also making my famous macaroni & cheese and we’re having gobs and gobs and gobs of mashed potatoes. Probably some corn and/or green beans too. And a Jell-O cake for dessert! Local friends who have no other plans are DEFINITELY welcome to join us. Just RSVP to me or Adam and let us know so we can have enough food to go around.

Tomorrow is November, which means I need to start thinking about Christmas. Once Halloween is over, I feel OK thinking about it, making plans, etc. So far, I plan to fly to Columbus on Christmas to surprise my little Aidan. How much fun will that be? That’s all I have so far. Has anyone else started thinking about the December holidays?

I think I got everything out that’s been building up in me the past few days and/or weeks. If you read all this, thank you. ♥ I leave you with a picture of my street in Chicago. I took it as I was walking home from work one evening.

‘Til next time!

(Originally published at Anywhere Is…)

(Originally posted at http://anywhere-is.net. Comment here or there.)

So….

I have this new laptop, so I really have no excuse not to write.

I have a framework that I pounded out with an agent, (at HER INSISTENCE!) so I have no excuse not to write.

I have an entire evening free, and most of tomorrow, and tomorrow evening free. I have no excuse not to write.

Why is it so hard for me to get started?

The other day, I was remembering how much fun I had when I was writing Only Yours. I spent EVERY free moment writing, and when I wasn’t writing, I was thinking about writing. Or talking about my characters as though they were real people. It gave me so much joy to work on that project.

Now, it’s like a weight. A constant dialogue in my head.
“You SHOULD be writing. You’re going to let people down if you don’t write. Oh great, you just wrote more CRAP. What is your problem? See these other authors? See your friends? See how they pound out great stuff? See how he got another book deal? See how she hit NYT? See how she finally got that offer? Oh look, that one went to auction. Why can’t YOU do that???”

When I am at work, all I do is sit there thinking “I can’t WAIT to get home and write.”

I get home and make excuses.

“The neighbor’s TV/stereo/sex-sounding workout is too loud.”
“I have to see what’s on email, Facebook, LiveJournal first.”
“Let me play a quick game or five of Anagrams.”
“Oh, I should see if Adam’s online.”

Well, Adam’s at work now. The neighbors are finally quiet. I’ve checked email/Facebook/Livejournal. I’ve already played Anagrams. So now what’s my problem?

The ideas are in my head. I can’t seem to get them out. Something is blocking me.

I’m afraid of failing.
I’m afraid of writing another 20K words and then realizing this doesn’t work either.
I’m afraid of finishing a book and having a crit partner tell me NO NO NO.
I’m afraid of finishing it, and having my agent reject it.
I’m afraid I don’t have another good book in me.
I’m afraid I won’t feel the magic I felt when I was writing Only Yours.
I’m afraid that I’m completely done.

I’m afraid that reading and editing all day mentally exhausts me, which is why when I DO buckle down, I do best on Sunday afternoons.

I’m afraid of getting started.

I’m afraid of enjoying it.
I’m afraid of succeeding.

I’m afraid of writing.

What if I have no more stories to tell?

(Originally posted at Anywhere Is...)

Lauren Barnholdt is amazing. Just thought I’d let you all know that. ?

(Originally published at Anywhere Is…)

(Originally posted at Anywhere Is...)

I picked up two interesting books at the library today. One, the title I will not disclose to protect the um… not so innocent. The other is The Twinkies Cookbook by Hostess. Among some of the recipes I’d like to try:

Twinkie Easter Egg Hunt – uses Twinkies, maraschino cherries, marshmallow creme, chocolate chips, and jelly beans, and chocolate pudding mix. Probably 9,000 calories, but fun.
Twinkie Burrito – tortillas, chocolate sauce, Twinkies, and strawberries.
Twinkie Kebabals – Twinkies, fruit, marshmallows, and wooden skewers.
Twinkie Fantasy – Twinkies, strawbery Jell-O, strawberries, vanilla pudding mix, whipped topping.

There is even a gorgeous Twinkie wedding cake.

I think I need to buy this book.

But I will NOT be trying the “Twinkies with Meat” recipes in the back. Ewwww.

I want gift cards to Barnes & Noble or Borders! Guess what’s on my list this Christmas. It’s a small one. Heh.

Speaking of bookstores, I found this in the window of Cover to Cover today:

Yay for adamselzer!

Boo to the downstairs neighbor and his loud-ass media equipment.

You know, I don’t get it. Why is HE allowed to play his stereo/TV/video games as loud as he wants, but let Aidan run down the hall once every three weeks and the neighbor lady screams her head off like he’s making constant noise all the time? I swear, the reasons against living here in Columbus are stacking up so quickly it’s almost knocking me over. Only about 400 or so days ’til I move to Chicago.

In other words, I feel incredibly pathetic. A great number of my friends have dumped me. In a way that’s good, because I guess it weeds out those who shouldn’t really matter anyway, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t hurt sometimes. The good thing about it is that when I move, I won’t be leaving a whole lot behind. The bad things is that I have well over a year to feel pathetic.

The thing is, my closest friends I talk to mainly on the Internet. There are a few local people I could call, but I have this whole ‘fear of rejection’ thing going on because just about everytime I’ve asked someone to do something in the past few months, I’ve gotten NOs. So I figure I won’t call anymore. It’s just easier that way.

Oh well. Whatever. As I said to swankivy yesterday: Ronni = loses at friendship. Even though I have 104 Facebook friends now.

Aidan was extra cute today. We had a date at McDonalds. I ordered Happy Meals for us both, and the lady gave him two toys! He got a “Gingy” and a “Donkey.” Donkey actually smelled like a donkey…

I can’t figure out why McGraw-Hill sent me an employee benefits handbook. Or how Victoria’s Secret found me and why they decided to send me a catalog.

Been rereading Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. I realize I’m early, but I’ve been in the mood. Maybe this is why:

THAT’S RIGHT, FOLKS. THE HARRY POTTER ACTION FIGURE HAS BEEN TERRORIZING ME WITH UNFORGIVEABLE CURSES. I mean, erm:

Yes, Harry, I do *ahem* love *cough* you and *blink* adore you.

*runs and hides*

In other news, I’ve officially given up on writing for now. I just can’t focus, not with all the bullshit that keeps happening. Today was supposed to be my day to start back. But I can’t do it. I’m not finding joy in it anymore. I’m not finding joy in too much of anything these days, but oh well. I’ll get back to it when I am in a better headspace, not to mention life space.

Uh oh.

What’s that Harry?

He says to stop whining and get off here. So I’m off.

Later.

(Originally posted at Anywhere Is...)

Lauren Myracle, best-selling author of the Internet Girls series (ttyl, ttfn, etc.) says this about her incredible first novel Kissing Kate (recently re-issued):

“It came neither quickly nor easily. When I pick up books at the bookstore, they always seem so glossy and enticing, so polished, and sometimes, I have the despairing thought that words leapt cleanly from the author’s mind to the page—snap, just like that. This was certainly not the case for me. I mention this because some of you are writers, too. Keep plugging away, and keep the faith!”

Did she not read my mind or what? I mean, those are my exact thoughts. I expect my first drafts to come out perfect, ready to sell, already saleable and marketable. I put all kinds of pressure on myself when I write stuff I KNOW is crap, but needs to get out anyway.

When I hear of a best-selling author’s struggles, I feel so much more faith that I’m not so much different than she or he is. So I have to try to forget about their degrees from Columbia and NYU and their MFAs and concentrate on writing well. Write well. Famous words from the newly retired Miss Snark.

I can do this. I WILL do this.

As James Thurber said: Don’t get it right, get it written. Time for me to stop obsessing over perfection and sales, and time to focus on telling an amazing, captivating story.

(Originally published at Anywhere Is…)

(Originally posted at Anywhere Is...)

Writing.
Still hiding from the writing world. It’s really, really, really hard for me to see people getting book deals, multiple book deals, great feedback and moving forward while nothing’s happening for me. I can’t write–I get a mental block every time I try, topping out at about 10,000 words before I give up. My ideas fizzle out. I start thinking that it’s going to suck anyway so why bother. And I file the document away. Another failure.

I keep hoping it’ll happen for me one day, but that hope is seriously diminishing, and I think that maybe it might not be in the stars for me. I know I have talent, but the people who pay don’t want to read what I have to write, even if it is good writing. That’s a very depressing thought. Since I’ve been so shielded from that world, I haven’t had to worry about the bitter feelings and things, but sometimes, someone pulls me in, and I see their successes, and I get that bad feeling in the middle of my torso–like in that hollow in my breastbone or whatever–and I just get reminded of how I’m going nowhere. It’s hard to keep going.

I’m really seriously considering giving up on ever being published. I don’t have the kutzpah to try anymore.

Aidan.
You’ve seen my updates on him. He’s so smart. “Mommy, look! This is hilarious!” Except, his Ls are Ws, so he says “This is hiwarius!” He’s overwhelming, though. I’m drained at the end of the day, and as you all know, I spend almost every evening with him. He demands a lot, he doesn’t always listen, and I have a hard time getting him to pick up after himself. Raising a child is HARD.

He’s REALLY good at computer games, and memory/concentration type games. I mean, really good. He knows things that most kids don’t know until kindergarten, if I am not mistaken. For example, he knows his left from his right. He knows near and far, short and long. And when he’s not being bratty (which fortunately, isn’t often), he’s very affectionate. He likes to play games and pick the wrong answers on purpose. And there’s this one sound in the Backyardigans game that he knows drives me crazy, and he likes to play it really loudly then laugh at me when I freak out.

Boys.

Work.
We just relocated to a new building. The outside of the building is WEIRD, but the work space is pretty sleek. Too dang COLD for my taste (I need to get an electric heater STAT), but I think it looks very modern and cool. Here’s a picture of where I sit:

Yes, that’s a Barbie lunchbox! Heehee. My United Way one is sticky and gross, so yeah. You can see proofs that I work on, my proofing board, all sorts of things. I like the space–it’s nice and bright. But there is a lot of traffic where I sit which can make it hard to concentrate. Usually I stick on my headphones and get lost in my music, though. And there’s the FREEZING MY BUTT OFF aspect of it. Otherwise, it’s okay, as long as I have plenty of work to do.

Me.
Up until yesterday, I was an emotional wreck. Roller coaster like crazy. But now I feel like ME again, which is a VERY GOOD THING. I don’t like feeling out of control crazy like that.

Preparing for something BIG. Won’t say much more about that for now.

Got my first ever flu shot today!! Oh my. The part I hated was when the nurse was actually injecting the medicine in. I don’t mind the initial prick. I actually rather like it. It’s the other part that sucks. But it’s over. The spot is a little sore, but nothing I can’t handle. And anyway, this is nothing compared to the FLU. Ugh. It’ll be nice not to get it for once.

I’ve been craving Chinese food lately. Beef and snow pea pods, mostly. And rice. Lots of rice. I used to hate Chinese food. I still don’t care for too much of it, so for me to crave it is very strange. Other cravings I’m having:

- Spaghetti w/Eckridge hotdogs (which were buy 1 pack get 2 packs free at Meijer!);
- Japanese Steakhouse (hibachi steak, ginger salad, rice with ginger sauce, bean sprouts);
- Steak, mashed potatoes and gravy, corn, roll with lots of butter;
- Sausage McMuffin w/egg, hashbrown;
- An ice cream soda from Margie’s Candies (or whatever that place in Chicago is called);
- Double chocolatey chunk Rice Krispy treats;
- This:

I should go eat now. Guess which ones on the list I’ll have. Tee hee. ‘Til next time….

(Originally posted at Anywhere Is...)

Yesterday, I read The Giver by Lois Lowry. And like a fool, I started crying, right there in my cubicle. I swear, I’ve cried more in the past month I’ve been there than I have the entire six years I was at Nationwide. Okay, that’s an exaggeration. But WOW. That book just gripped me. I remember Lois Lowry’s Anastasia books. I loved those books. But The Giver. Wow. She’s versatile and sooo good. Soooo good.

I’ve been reading a LOT at work. Since I’m working on the Literature and Character Education (LACE) teacher guides, it’s important for me to know the material in the books. OH DARN, right? SUCH a hardship. Getting paid to READ, right? Seriously, I cannot complain. Except for the fact that I read too damned fast! I need to slow down. Some days I manage to make it through two books AND the LACE guides.

What else? Oh yes. My doctor put me on a medication for my headaches and BOY DOES IT MAKE ME SLEEPY. He told me to take it before bed, which I did. But I had a hard time keeping my eyes open today. I was so cold so I had the hot thing and I was drinking cocoa and once that stuff took effect, I felt all fuzzy and warm. It was hard to stay awake.

Speaking of cold… there was snow here yesterday! Lots of flurries. Lots and lots. Kind of exciting, but then again, not really. Although I did enjoy getting out my cute scarf and hat and gloves.

I’m so glad it’s Friday! I really am. Two days of not getting up when it’s still dark out. Nice.

Last night, in my drug-induced post-sleep haze, I started thinking of the church I used to go to when I was in college. The St. Thomas More Newman Center. There are people there who were there when I used to go there!! Wow, such a long time ago, the Catholic me. But you know, there is a little bit of her still in me, the current me.

I’ve been on a MADONNA kick lately! I don’t know what my deal is, but I’ve been listening to loads of Madonna. I guess it’s just time for that phase in my life.

Writing. Sigh. Even though I’m on a break, of course it’s calling me. However, I stay out of the professional loops and things–I’ve really cut myself off from that world, because hearing of everyone else’s success is just highlighting my failures and it makes me depressed and bitter and angry, not to mention jealous–so yeah, it’s a good thing I’m keeping away from the writing world for now. It’s really hard to see everyone else moving ahead, while I stay stuck.

Anyway.

Happy Friday, people!

(Originally posted at Anywhere Is...)

How/why/when do you choose your point of view or main characters, protagonists?

I wouldn’t say I choose them. They come to me with their story, and they ask me to tell it for them. Some characters live in my head for years before their stories are ready to come out. Others–just a fews months or weeks. I give the character a trial run–there are usually at least two or three false starts–then once I get into the rhythm, the story unfolds.

How/why/when do you choose point of view (first, some variety of third person)?

There is never a choice. First person all the way. Otherwise, I simply cannot connect to the character.

How/why/when do you choose where the work in progress “starts” or opens?

It starts when I put those first words on the screen and find myself in the flow. Usually, I have to have at least 2,000 words down before I consider it a new WIP. Otherwise, it’s just a dabble.

Is the first thing you write about likely to end up being the first thing that your readers eventually read?

No. Again, I tend to have a few false starts (usually a paragraph or two) before finally finding the perfect storyline, niche, voice, narrator, etc.

Do you ever write the ending first? How/why/when do you choose chronology/structure?

I do not write the ending first, but I may not necessarily write it last, either. I’ve done books both ways–completely in order, and also skipped around, writing whatever scene strikes my fancy and then moving things around later. I go with the flow and write whatever I feel like. Otherwise, I could get stuck on something forever and ever. The beauty of this is that I can make the rules. I don’t have to write in order. I don’t have to use “chapter one, chapter two, etc.” I don’t have to write the ending last. I can write what I need to get out at that moment, and come back to the hard parts later. Sometimes I have to mull over a scene mentally before I can get it down. Sometimes, I know something will be very emotional and hard, so I have to make sure I’m in the right place to focus on it. As long as I’m writing, I don’t care which order it’s getting down.

Does your writing process change when you shift genres or topics (say from a story to an essay, or from fiction to non-fiction)?

I haven’t switched genres yet, but I’m sure it would change depending on the needs of the topic and/or genre.

(Originally published at Anywhere Is…)

(Originally posted at Anywhere Is...)

Whoo-hooo!!!!

50,015 / 50,000 (100.0%)

Time for minor tweaking, then letting it marinate, then revision time! YAY!

Party Time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Originally published at Anywhere Is…)

(Originally posted at Anywhere Is...)